Top 10 worst things that someone could say to you to start your day:
- You pissed this chick over here to the left off, and now she's suing you for child support.
- Your job called, you're fired, your last day of work is never.
- I ate all of your cereal and we're out of milk, but I think there's some candy corn left over from Halloween.
- Your girlfriends passed out on the couch again. I was rummaging through her bag for some cigarettes or possibly Heroine and her ID fell out. It was a learner's permit, vertically.
- Andy Milonakis looks decades older than you.
- You have ass cancer, complete with a side of buttne.
- Ron Artest is here.
- Remember that guy you punched last night? Turns out it was a girl, and she's pregnant. Well, she was.
- Your mom called and she says she won't talk to you until you return all of her thongs.
- Your brother got really wacked out on Robitussin last night and told everyone about how you made him swear not to tell everyone you have erectile dysfunction. In an unrelated sidenote, last night the federal government outlawed Viagra, Cialis, Porn, and Skirts.
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