Entourage

It's every man's wet dream.

Wake up in Southern California. Don't do shit. Get paid to hang out with beautiful women and be in movies. Bring your four best friends a long for the ride.

What am I supposed to think about this shit? Am I supposed to suck in the rich dialogue? The thorough plot lines that always rap around nice and neat? The big toasts at the end of every episode to "running the city"!

Give me a fucking break. Entourage is everything that's wrong with the modern man (and woman). It's materialism at its worst. It's the ego, the id, and everything else Freud said was wrong with us mere mortals. Is there any part of any episode that doesn't revolve directly around the personal life of it's main characters? What about a larger issue? What about a theme for God's sake? I don't understand it's appeal - well, that's a lie, I do - but I don't understand how it's persisted over the past few years.

The show is absolutely devoid of anything that makes good television good: there's no real humor, the stories are pointless and contrived, and the show almost chokes on it's own self-awareness. It's like watching a show that knows it's a show, but at least in something like professional wrestling there's some theater. If not for the occasional huge rack or "fuck" uttered by Drama, this show would have nothing going for it.

If you had to explain the entire plot structure of the whole series - as in what's happened since the begging - I don't think you could say anything more than Vince was in some movies, he and E had some ups and downs, Turtle was a loveable idiot, and Drama fucked a few girls. I mean, holy shit. This show would have been a bad movie, but instead of being a bad movie, it got dragged out into 5 years worth of worthless television. How is anyone supposed to relate to this? Unless they're an actor or an agent, there is nothing transferable to regular life. The characters don't even really go through regular emotions, they're so one-dimensional that they just have become caricatures of themselves. Do you really think you couldn't write a scene from this show? Well, I'll take 3 minutes and I'll show you how it's done:

Phone conversation between Ari and E

Ari: E, what the fuck is up with Vince? Is he doing the movie or what?

E: I don't know Ari, he's having some reservations at this point - he doesn't want to live in Florida for a summer, he's got a new girl.

Ari: E, don't be such a pussy.

Lloyd: Ari, maybe you could ask the director to change the filming location?

Ari: Lloyd, when I want your opinion I'll head down to the gay pride parade in West Hollywood with an "I have a bigger dick than my boyfriend" t-shirt on.

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I mean, is there any doubt in your mind that could be an actual conversation from this show? There's nothing complicated about writing it. It's just think of a few one-liners from a person with a one-track mind and a brain the size of a peanut. Throw in the most average song from top 10 radio between scenes, and make sure Drama gives someone a nuggey and drinks a beer at least three times an episode.

This shit has to stop. It's making us all dumber, more unaware, and more shallow.